With dead week upon us, and final projects being due, I find myself in a state of confusion. I know what I need to do to be successful with my exams and papers, but this looming feeling over me is hard to shake. Part of my anxiety is fear of failure. The way my brain fixes this is procrastination, which according to research is a for of perfectionism. Either way the stress drains me and things get pushed off to another day, until its absolutely the last minute.
It is a cycle of never ending doom. I was given an assignment the third day of class that isn't due the last week of class and started it that night. Yet if you look at my files, there isn't one for this paper. I put it off to learn the information needed for it, and now that I have it, I can't seem to finish it (procrastination 101).
There is an immediate stress that comes over me with the end of the semester. Did I do well enough on my exams and assignments? Do they know which course evaluation is mine? Will I pass this semester? All these questions running though my head make me want to scream. I don't have the control to silence them, yet I do what I need to, to suppress them.
These last 2 weeks of school are my own personal form of hell. With having ADHD and anxiety my brain doesn't know which to respond to more. It's a constant battle in my head if I'm stressed or if I'm distracted. Wish me luck, because we all know I'm going to need all the luck I can get to pass this semester.
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